The Trap of Instant Attachment!

Not All That Glitters is Love.

We all want a connection with somebody. To feel close to someone, to know we are wanted, validated, cared for, loved, treasured etc.

We have to build that connection, sure initial chemistry helps yes.

Expecting to “feeeeeeeellllllllll” an instant magical Disney style connection with someone without you barely knowing this other person is a fool’s errand. One I have fallen into many a times, as we all have.

It takes time… time to build a connection, time for a person to allow themselves to open their world to another person. This is especially true for those of us who have had experienced the harsh side of love:

Love bombing

Gaslighting

Psychological harm

Physical harm

Choosing to date an asshole

That pain stays, it makes one guarded.

The reasons I write this, is because of a recent interaction I have had. That has thrown this perspective of connection into sharp reality… once again!

I have been talking to this woman, after 7 days she professed her “love for me”. Yes very quick I know, I however took a more slow approach, over the course of the interceding weeks…