Yes I wish people would take a step back from all this bullshit crap that they keep spewing at each other and themselves. Understanding that both men and woman want similar things, with different ways to get there.

Having spent time in that "world" myself I can see why all you'd see is the negative, jaded men that slump through the red pill, rather than the self improvement side of it. You don't see the self improvement aspects, why would you, especially when all they show is a repugnant attitude behind a screen towards women.
I can easily say the same about feminism, all I see are jaded and bitter woman. You may see a different version of such a group?

As you correctly stated they do focus on the insecurities of men and suck them into an emotional vortex (this can apply to many groups really)

Your husband very likely exhibited a number of the traits mentioned in the article and more that weren't mentioned since you've been together for so long.

As to the language they use, it's because they are swallowed by it, they will use it especially when they believe themselves justified in their views (again much like other groups are too). I myself have come across a guy recently that spewed rhetoric about men and women, I can tell he was a "red pill" guy.

The issue isn't so much the information that they share per say. As It's similar or the same information to an extent that I learnt a decade prior via a non negative lense. Now that same information is being shared via a negative bias/lense which unfortunately distorts how the other person sees it.