Your Soft Side Is A Superpower!

“The softest of all things, overcomes the hardest of all thing” ~ Lao Tzu

Some of you here are softer than most. You care too deeply, feel too much, you hurt quickly, you overthink… It has caused you problems, hasn’t it.

I understand this!

Being soft isn’t a burden, even if it feels like such. You may have decide to become heartless. What you have done is learnt to use your heart less. You’re more careful who you share your heart with, as you should be. Don’t become a fool and hide your heart, you will end up hiding it from yourself, just like I have done.

This hiding of your heart comes with its own issues: You don’t fully trust yourself or others,
You become far too critical when someone does show interest most of all you loose touch with yourself.

After my first relationship went down, I was weary to date again. After sometime being single I had come across a woman and we got to know each other, I was “robotic” in her eyes because I didn’t express my emotions or soft side, even after telling her about my past relationship. After a year and a half I began to open up, showing her my softer caring side and she liked it… I had asked her “if I was more emotionally open at the start would you have been interested in me?”. Her reply as I knew it would be was “no, I would not”, I said “that’s why I didn’t open up”. After 4 years together that relationship went down as well…

This may paint the picture that you shouldn’t be soft from the start. I realised I had chosen the wrong woman to date. I know you may want to curl up and not let that broken soft side out anymore, please don’t this will hurt you more than anyone else.

Yet your soft side is a super power it can help you: It allows you to see who people really are. If express you’re soft side and then sit back and watch how people respond you can make your decision of what to do next. Being open and soft will attract people that will love that side of you, even if you attract the users.

You can be “strategically vulnerable” with those that may use you and those that will love this side of you. This isn’t manipulation. This is letting someone see a part of you carefully in a way that you have control. I have done this at work whereby I express being caring and a team player or I show my total adoration for cats. I also stand my ground and won’t be pushed about.

Learn to know when to be heart less, to stand your ground and tell someone to “fuck off” and when to be heart full, let others see this side of you.

You can’t heal or overcome the pain if all you do is avoid the pain like I have in the past. It will come back and bite you.

Thanks for reading

Martyn_Wolf